“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,”

The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

And occasionally may contain a Louisiana park ranger.

 The Louisiana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for alligators..

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as "little bells" on their clothing to alert, but not startle the alligators, unexpectedly.

They also advise the carrying of "pepper spray" in case of an encounter with an alligator. It's also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of alligator activity and be able to recognize the difference between young alligator and adult alligator droppings.

Young alligator droppings are small, contain fish bones and possibly bird feathers.

Adult alligators droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper.

The future

A son asked his dad for help with a school report and his father quickly consented. So the son asks "What is politics?"

The dad thought for a second. "Well, let's take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let's call me 'George Bush.' Your mother handles the money, so we'll call her 'Alan Greenspan.' We take care of your needs, so we'll call you 'the People.' We'll call the maid 'the Working Class,' and your baby brother we can call 'the Future.' Do you understand, son?"

The son said "I don't understand." So the father told him to go think about it for a while.

That night, awakened by his baby brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning, he told his Dad, "I think I understand what politics is."

"Good! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

"Well, while George Bush is screwing the Working Class, Alan Greenspan is sound asleep, so the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of crap."